100 Taps

The Ultimate No Life Test • Muy bien Señor! (Tap 100 times)

I’ve often said that there’s something to be learned in the experience of these ‘quick-and-dirty’ achievements. Even where there’s no real challenge, gaming as a medium has evolved to a point where it should be something that you ‘experience’ beyond static media like film or photography.

So, even tapping a big, red button should invoke an emotion out of you like any other art. And, to be honest, I’ve spent the day at a waterpark with the kids so I’m not convinced I’ve got the energy to have emotions, but I will attest to it being ‘an experience.’

If I’m perfectly honest, my look at the achievement list excited me most as there were options there for the next few days before I go home. I seem to be struggling on a few of my games to earn something quickly, and so I’ll be whittling away at a few levels tonight in order to have some options ‘in the bank,’ but I will be the first to admit – I am absolutely looking forward to getting back to Destiny 2, Spider-Man, and the whole heap of other games I’ve got on the pile of shame to get through!

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Glasslands

Halo 5: Guardians • Completed Mission 3

I felt like playing something ‘meaty’ tonight. Something that I could really sink my teeth into – an epic story with characters that held meaning, a winding narrative arc and a hand crafted world that offered the pinnacle of escapism.

That game was going to be Middle-Earth: Shadow of War, but with a 30GB update, I’ve managed to play a few different games and even now the update has just ticked over 22%.

Malcolm Turnbull’s National Broadband Network, ladies and gentlemen.

I decided to venture into Halo 5, purely following some discussion, nothing in particular, but loose comments made about Halo Infinite. I am fairly confident that I’ve got another 2-3 years before I need to be across my Halo lore (which I’m still terrible at), but even still it seems like a glaring omission on my nerd, and especially my Xbox, credentials.

Here’s the honest truth, though: Halo isn’t really my cup of tea. I understand it’s influence on gaming culture and why it might hold the hearts of many a gamer, but the cartoony style graphics, the gunplay, the pacing, none of it really tickles my tits. I play these games so that they are ticked off my insurmountable pile of shame, but give me a mindless puzzler or even a more solid shooter any day.

Will I continue with it? Sure, I can’t see why not. I offer no promises as to how quickly though. If it is any indication, it’s been about one year and two weeks since I last picked it up.

Perhaps that Halo Infinite date isn’t looking so far away after all …

Revenge

Wolfenstein: The Old Blood • Complete part one • 20G • 50.74% of gamers unlocked this

I don’t know how many ‘parts’ constitute the Wolfenstein prequel, but I do know I’ve completed the first of them. It’s been a while since I’ve played with ol’ BJ, but I’ve had a long day, a bit of a week, and – to be frank – I just felt like playing something mindless for a bit.

Killing Alternative Universe Nazis seems to fit that bill nicely.

My lack of concentration hasn’t really helped with understanding the state of affairs as it relates to the narrative, but while I enjoy a good story, I’ve left The Old Blood alone for so long now, I’d struggle to tell you where things are at. Like many other titles before this one, my plan will be to just finish the game and then catch up on the plot on Wikipedia after. It’s a tried and true method.

After tomorrow, I’m entering a bit of a pressure point scenario with achievements. A weekend of family staying and a party here at home means I’ll be hard-pressed to get some console time, but I’m going in a little unprepared because I’ll be at home. I’m sure there’s some magic I can wrangle between Windows, Console or both (streaming) … but, as I say, I’m not making plans so let’s see what happens.

‘Not making plans’ is my middle name.

The Escape

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Remastered • Complete ‘Hunted’ and ‘Death from Above’ on Veteran difficulty • 30G • 2.33% of gamers unlocked this

Some video games have truly iconic villains. Arkham Knight or the Joker in Batman … 006 in Goldeneye … but blow me down if a single aggressive helicopter in Modern Warfare didn’t give me more grief than any of these bad guys combined. As I said last night, this helicopter gave me enough grief that I had to abort and fire-up The Wolf Among Us just to grab an achievement – but once I’d hit the midnight changeover point, I went back to Modern Warfare determined to put this abomination to an end.

I have never felt more satisfaction in killing a bad guy than I had dropping that helicopter out of the sky.

The euphoria of killing that helicopter stayed with me for a while, so I followed-up with the AC-130 mission as well, which is fairly simple on any difficulty – just rain hellfire down on bad guys that aren’t flashing with a strobe and get your team out of there. As long as you keep an eye on everything around the scene, then it’s quite quick and achievable.

With that in mind, combining these two missions into one achievement makes a lot of sense – one insanely hard, one generally pretty easy. Together they make up a reasonably happy medium for what one would expect on ‘veteran’ difficulty.

The rest of my day has been consumed with some health and fitness stuff and a 5-year old’s birthday party, and I am pretty much ready for a bit of a snooze now. I might jump on and see if I can make a bit more progress on the PS4 version of Wildlands if the mood grabs me later, but I’d be equally happy having an afternoon and evening on the couch watching something mindless on Netflix.

Save the Bacon

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Remastered • Protect ‘War Pig’, the Abrams tank • 15G • 23.16% of gamers unlocked this

Fun fact: For a very brief moment following the original launch of MW, I tried the handle of ‘War Pig’ online. It didn’t last very long, but it does remain forever attached to my Google Account thanks to a range of interactions I had with Google Help and Google Forums that somehow means it can never be deleted.

Databases and their web equivalent seem to be the bane of my existence (see also: PSN name changes).

Anyway, I headed back to MW tonight to see if I could make a bit more progress. Tonight’s mission was less about the tank itself, and more about the journey to get there, but I know from history that this isn’t the last we’ll see of War Pig.

Despite being at work all day and having a few hours tonight of personal training dig-into my gaming schedule, I’m still a bit surprised that I managed to smash out a Veteran-difficulty level without too much issue. Either my hands are getting used to it or the layout of this level lends itself to better cover and general protection …

… either way, it was enough to get the job done.

Shishkebap

SUPERHOT • Cruelly impaled two cypher beings with a sharp object • 10G • 11.43% of gamers unlocked this

Just a few quick minutes of gaming before training tonight, so I went with my flavour-of-the-month in SUPERHOT. I’ve had a few problems with the achievements on this one lately, for instance last night I completed all the requirements for the ‘Deep Web’ achievement, but it didn’t actually load until I started the game tonight. It’s a similar case to that of Sea of Thieves, where a whole heap of achievements unlocked after-the-fact.

In that vein, I actually completed this achievement three or four times over before it registered. The gist of it is that you throw your katana and kill two bad guys in one hit. One of the challenge levels is ‘katanas only’ which made it a bit easier. But, by now you should know me. The thing that doesn’t bother me most about this achievement has nothing to do with the technical aspects of the Xbox network. No, it’s to do with the spelling of the achievement!

What is a Shishkebap? Is it the same as a shishkebab? Has someone inadvertently hit P instead of B? Is it an inside joke? What is it?

We may never know … what we do know, is that killing red dudes should be part of everyone’s therapy.

We Can See You

SUPERHOT • Experienced a direct contact with the system • 25G • 54.85% of gamers unlocked this

An opportunistic achievement today. I jumped onto the Xbox while the family finished their morning ‘get ready’ routine, which is – I imagine like most families – far longer than it actually needs to be. I sense that this is a progress achievement in terms of story (which I still don’t understand) but it’s interesting to see SUPERHOT (capitalisation rant goes here) try a touch of story to go alongside its innovative gameplay.

I might play a bit more of SUPERHOT this evening because I’m once again finding some solace in opening up my shadow challenge (in my head, I haven’t really talked about it here) to encompass gaming in all its forms (platform-wise). The intent of this is, of course, testing the waters before my 2018-19 challenge begins, but I don’t want to commit to anything in particular.

Consider it the Gemini in me.