Goldilocks and the Three Bears

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Asphyxia • Roberta tells a chilling horror story

The game I was trying to think of yesterday was Victor Vran, which is the quasi-Diablo III knock-off, but it seems like my cursory look at the achievement list means I might have been optimistic grabbing one today. I’ll get something I’m sure, but the nearest achievement looks to be getting to level 10, so my twenty minutes of playtime and reaching level 2 this morning indicates to me I have a bit more work to do.

In the meantime, there’s visual novels.

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I didn’t realise how close I was to 100%’ing Asphyxia, considering out of the three achievements I had left, one of the playthrough gives you two and then it’s just another ten minute (if that) whip-through to completion. The same situation as last time, skip all dialogue and use a guide, but if it wasn’t for my out-and-out honesty, you’d never actually know.

Curse my ethics.

I want to make a bit of a final push in the story mode of Destiny 2 on my Xbox Account over the next few days, as I’ve started in on the Barons and I’m hovering in the early 40s level-wise … and I have a few 500’ish weapons willing me ‘over the line’ in terms of light level. I certainly didn’t have any problems last night playing Destiny 2, and – after a while – you begin to forget about the gorgeous graphics on PC and just settle in for the ride.

Maybe the universe is telling me to get a new TV?


Kill Boxer 01


BanHammer • Kill Boxer 01

This post didn’t publish properly for some reason … I have tried again.

Time for something a bit different today after a lengthy stint of Spider-Man (which I haven’t finished yet, but I’m working on it!), I lashed out with something a bit different today, seeking out a smaller title in my Steam library in the way of BanHammer.


The premise seems to be ‘kill poachers’ + ‘save the animals’, but I think it’s going to take a bit more game time before I fully appreciate the nuance associated with BanHammer. In either event, I made my way to what looked to be the ‘easiest’ of the ‘big bosses’ and pretty much just laid into him with my automatic weapons. One dead boss.

If only ending poaching in the real world was this easy.

Goodbye, cruel world


King Arthur’s Gold • Commit suicide

I’m fairly philosophically opposed to suicide, and I’ve been fairly vigilant about avoiding the topic as a trigger since my own brush with anxiety and depression, but I think the ‘subject’ versus the ‘action’ remain quite different, and I’m not so debilitated that I cannot look at the concept objectively.

This act of ‘suicide’ however, is far from what this achievement is for. This is, essentially, a reset – the same that LittleBigPlanet requires you to do as early as the tutorial, and involves little more than having your player character pick things back up where they left off at the last checkpoint. The function itself is likely to be used for instances where you are stuck or cannot progress through the story without backtracking a bit, but for today – it was more a case of my lunch-break rapidly about to run-out and I hadn’t yet earned an achievement in King Arthur’s Gold.

With any luck, I might have a chance to play some more Spider-Man tonight and grab another trophy. If I haven’t fallen asleep out of sheer exhaustion first.

Well Practiced


Battle Chef Brigade • Win the practice match against Thrash

They say the night is darkest before the dawn, so I’m hoping that today’s pit of misery is over. I summarised my joy(!) yesterday of trying to wrangle a sick household, but overnight didn’t get much better, so I’ve been spending much of my day with the world’s worst headache … akin to a shocking hangover without the joy of having a drink.


I actually managed to spend some time playing Spider-Man today, and while I thought that I made good progress, it obviously wasn’t enough to trigger a trophy. So, I jumped onto Steam to see what I could get from any of my games and somewhere along the way I had downloaded this game: Battle Chef Brigade.


This is essentially a progress achievement for completing the first tutorial ‘battle’, but boy there’s a lot to unpack in this game. Go hunt for ingredients, then cook them, stir them, then serve them up. All those individual elements have mechanics of their own which I suspect require some mastery as well, but it’s a bizarre concept that I guess will take a bit more time to learn, but for now – I’m satisfied just having learned the basics.

A Place where there is No Darkness


Orwell • Complete Episode Two

I have had a hell of a day. To cut a long-story short:

  • Both kids up at 3am
  • One kid very sick
  • One kid in peak tantrum mode all … day …
  • One wife now very sick
  • Father-in-Law air-lifted to hospital with chest pain
  • Mother-in-Law staying with us while FIL on-the-mend
  • Sick kid just had a major bowel evacuation that required … cleanup.


So, this afternoon during a quiet patch I headed back to Orwell. It seemed less time-sensitive than other games, and there was no risk of being ‘logged off’ (think: Destiny 2), so I fired it up, and when there was a chance, I did a bit of data-mining to see what I could find. Turns out – I saved a whole bunch of people from another explosion.

I feel like that level of effort is appropriate for a day like today.


Even after a month off, I still feel like the drip-feed of narrative offered by Orwell hasn’t left me wondering what’s going on. If I’m honest, there’s probably a few main characters that I need to be reminded of, but the interface of Orwell gives you enough information to jog-your-memory that it’s not an insurmountable barrier.

And so, the journey continues. I have half-a-mind to jump into a Gambit match or two in Destiny 2 before bed just to unwind, but that 3am start … well, boy … it’s a killer.

Rocket Jump


Zombie Night Terror • Kill a zombie by blowing up another zombie nearby

I feel like it would be remiss of me to first mention that I concluded the Destiny 2: Forsaken campaign last night. It was as satisfying as you think it would be, though I was a bit confused by the ending – or more specifically – the final boss battle. I’m guessing that most people who read this blog aren’t really too concerned about spoilers, but in the interests of ambiguity, I’ll just go on to say that the final battle isn’t really with who you think it’s going to be. It’s just … weird.

So, with that out of the way, I move on to more academic pursuits, and that means more zombies.


I felt like that I hadn’t exahausted the limits of my strategic mind yesterday, and so I ventured back to Zombie Night Terror to see what else I could achieve and how far I could go. I certainly made it a ‘bit’ further, but I wouldn’t say I powered through. Rather, I probably cleared one more level, and learned a little bit more surrounding the strategy of the game and the mutations to use … but all-in-all, I earned an achievement, and that’s all that really matters.

This achievement is for something that I feel like is inevitable as you learn the game anyway – and that’s blowing up a zombie with another zombie. One of the aforementioned mutations is for exploding a zombie, and when they’re so close-quarters, it’s pretty much an inevitability that you’ll have collateral zombie damage.

Braaains everywhere.

On a personal note, this will likely be the last tidy blog entry for the next couple of weeks, as I’m about to venture off overseas. I should be able to get ‘one’ more entry in, but I don’t want to overcommit if technology and travel overwhelm me.

First things first – I fully intend to try and earn an achievmement every day while I’m overseas. I’ll still document the encounter, and maybe give you a smatter of holiday info while I’m at it, but depending on the reliability of the internet over there – this may be the first time that I’ve had to break with tradition, and go for a bulk, backdated upload on my return. We’ll see … chances are I’ll have free wi-fi in the hotel, a library of Steam games to get through, and all the time in the world to play them – but prepare for the worst, expect the best; dib dib dib, dob dob dob, and all that.

Until then …

28 Doors Later


Zombie Night Terror • Destroy 28 doors

Do you know what’s awesome? Having Overwatch as this month’s early-access on Humble Bundle Monthly … and so while I was stuffing around unlocking that this morning, I took the liberty of unlocking the September games, including this strange strategy-come-puzzle game, Zombie Night Terror.

The premise is that you, essentially, infect people to become zombies, who then, in turn, become zombies and so-on-and-so-forth. There are a few strategic challenges to overcome, such as humans with weapons who unceremoniously kill your zombies on-sight. Only an overwhelming wave of zombies, or a strategically-placed injection, seems to be able to overcome them, so I’ve found that it’s a bit of trial-and-error, but it’s quite cathartic at the same time watching people being eaten alive, so I don’t mind repeating some levels.


There seems to be a few of these early achievements before it becomes a case of accuring milestones. Number of humans converted, number of zombies killed, etc. I’ll try and give the list another look over before I play again, but I’m sure there’s a few other easy-earning achievements to be obtained here.

In other gaming news, I’ve finally started a bit of a PC Overwatch career. It stiill annoys me that the hours I’ve put into Overwatch on Xbox haven’t carried across, but it’s just one of those blips on the history of gaming – much like achievements, cloud saves and DLC – that we just need to ride-out before they become ‘the norm’.

In the meantime, I’ll just keep chipping away at my new career platform (in-between games of Destiny 2, of course!).